Trauma Bonding & Intimacy: Healing Your Sexual Body

Trauma Bonding & Intimacy: Healing Your Sexual Body

The socio-emotional development of the promiscuous behavior within us may be linked to trauma. This trauma causes many people to be promiscuous to the point of developing a sex addiction. According to Merriam-Webster, promiscuity means having or involving many sexual partners. This act of having and or involving many people in a sexual manner is something that has been culturally acceptable in the 21st century. Back in the days, it was looked down upon by society. However, this perception had double standards within the gender norms. Women were less valuable and perceived on a lower moral perspective opposed to men, who were given their title for becoming a man since that is what was and is expected of them, even if it is dysfunctional behaviors. 

It is not that people weren't engaging in sex, but what has caused people to be so open about it? Where does society draw the line between healthy and negative intimacy? According to Psychology Today, an article called "Sex Addiction: A Response to Trauma? Past traumas can trigger cycles of self-destructive behavior by trauma expert Robert T. Muller, Ph.D states that "many researchers in the field of sexual disorders, such as Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., sex addiction is a very real and serious problem". This serious problem has a root, at times it is closer to home, which may be responsible for the development for sexual addiction.

Muller went on to state that "Different forms of trauma may be involved in the development of sex addiction. The trauma may be developmental, as in the case of a home environment lacking appropriate support for the realities of adolescent sexuality. Or, there may be excessive encouragement of sexuality early on. Trauma, such as sexual abuse, can also create unhealthy sexual development, interfering with physical, emotional, and psychological processes conducive to healthy sexual behavior". This unhealthy behavior may illicit relationships that only depend on sex and this depends on control of your sexual body absent of your heart. 

Many people who are experiencing flings that may have led to sexual addiction are doing so to gain control over a pain they have yet learned how to manage. Muller stated, "trauma survivors can often “recreate” the sexual events that traumatized them, sometimes putting themselves into positions of authority, or giving themselves a sense of control within sexual contexts". These areas one seeks to control leaves you in a trap because as soon as a sexual experience has ended, just like a feign looking for that rock, that sexual addict will seek another sexual experience.

These sexual experiences separate a person emotionally, almost acting as a numbing agent so they can enjoy an experience without weighing the consequence and avoid the emotional connection. Muller further stated that "the person removes themselves from their emotions yielding a kind of numbing state, eliminating awareness of consequences, and leaving only awareness of pleasure. They may then engage in pursuing behavior such as calling a sex line or finding a prostitute. Finally, a period of time passes, and the cycle begins again".

It is important to link the neurobiological chemical reaction in the brain and how it is similar to taking a substance, which can rushes the body with dopamine-a neurotransmitter and hormone which plays a role in body functions of movement, memory and pleasure rewards. According to Uppers, Downers, and All Arounders 8th edition Instructors Manual states that "Compulsive behaviors can be triggered by genetic predisposition, by environmental stressors, and by the repetitive behavior itself. Increased dopamine levels in compulsive gamblers, overeaters, and shoppers suggest a common biochemical thread" (Uppers, Downers, All Arounders, chapter 7.32-7.33).

Researchers also found genes linked to compulsive behaviors such as sexual addiction, alcoholics and cocaine addicts. "Researchers suggest a genetic basis (e.g., DRD2 A1 allele gene) not only for alcoholism, but also for drug dependence and behavioral addictions. They found that even though this marker gene appears in only 19% to 21% of nonalcoholic, nonaddicted, and Non compulsive subjects, it exists in:

• 76% of pathological gamblers with drug problems

• 69% of severe alcoholics;

• 52% of cocaine addicts;

• 51% of pathological gamblers.

• 48% of smokers;

• 45% of compulsive overeaters;

• 43% of people with Tourette’s syndrome.

Carriers of this A1 allele gene have a deficiency of dopamine receptors in the reward/control pathway making them more likely to seek out substances and activities that release excess dopamine. There is more than one marker gene for compulsive drug use and compulsive behaviors" (Uppers, Downers, All Arounders, Chapter 7.32-7.32).

It is important we have relationships, but when it something that is supposed to be a healthy sexual expression that is supposed to unite a couple that turns into a bond of trauma and addiction, it must be addressed urgently. If not addressed urgently, one may be at risk of being a broken instead of a healed. Take time to heal the addictions in you.

If you are seeking help to heal you, please seek help at Sexual Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and for a healthy discussion, visit healthy wealthy thoughts podcast on healing your sexual body.

For more information on Robert T. Muller, Ph.D, visit here for information.

Check out this weeks podcast on Healthy Wealthy Thoughts podcast platform on healing.

Until then, may we heal ourselves and always have healthy wealthy thoughts. 

Sources and Links:

Promiscuous Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster

Robert T Muller Ph.D. | Psychology Today

Uppers, Downers, All Arounders  8th Edition by Darryl S Inaba (Author), William E Cohen (Author), Elizabeth von Radics (Editor)

Healthy Wealthy Thoughts Podcast on Sexual Healing