The Art of Guarding Your Heart: Emotional Boundaries That Improves Relationship W/ Self & Other

Everyone wants to be loved despite what they say. In fact, the reason why many reject themselves is because they were rejected by others they desired to connect with. It is very important to be aware of self, which is the perception one has of oneself by guarding your heart, which is the key to your mind. This is regulated by your thoughts, emotions and feelings, which are influenced by the experiences one has or had. How you think of yourself is how you will feel. How you feel about yourself is what you will manifest from self. What you manifest from your own thoughts, emotions and beliefs of self is what the reality of self will become. 

We communicate in ways that always reflect the core of what one identifies with. If one has core beliefs that are healthy, there won't be any stagnancy in relating to others and developing meaningful relations that enforce your beliefs. But if one has unhealthy  core beliefs, the fruit of that will be seen in all you do. Developing healthy habits that protect your core belief come from setting boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries come from being aware of what it takes to preserve who you are. This is where your worth is established in relation to how you add value to self. Adding value to self comes from the understanding of what it takes to keep you in all your ways without compromise. If you know answering your phone at 3am will deplete you, you do not answer the phone at 3am for it isn't in unison with your self care practices.

If you compromise the relationship you have with self, you will always risk the health of yourself and you set the tone for how you will be treated by others. Pleasing all things outside of self by disconnecting from the the source of your balance will cause a continuous decline in your life. Who will be the anchor of your self care management if you aren't the captain of your ship? I was given the harshest advice that enlightened my life and that was "if you play p*ssy, you will get f*cked". This means that whatsoever you align with will be the agreement until you make the effort to be aware of what is good for you and the gumption to do something about it.

How do you become aware of what is good for you? Identify the areas in your life where you have struggles by writing down the pros and cons of how it effects your life and who or what contributes to it. You may get emotional but you must take a gentle approach on being accountable and responsible for your happiness. Many people who do this exercise take a drastic approach by getting angry, choosing to stay away from others without realizing you are really staying away from self. Being intimate with yourself by being the source of your own needs is a healthy start to reclaiming power over yourself by being en-mind of the needs of self.

Safely guard yourself by knowing the nature of things and how you can manage the relationship one has with self to improve the relationships one has with others. One won't be able to accept the violations of others if one wasn't in agreement with it. There is a saying that states "hurt people, hurt people". And it is also true that people who love themselves will love others, especially when you are balanced. Don't be afraid to step out of old ways that no longer serve you. Many people get offended when one starts to love self in ways that doesn't serve others. Anyone putting you down instead of building you up is insecure and in fear of losing your weakness-which is where you gain a false sense of strength.

Secure your mind by accessing what you allow to contribute to your worth as value. Know you are of high value and that a higher power has given us all a purpose-which was never to be abused. Create the path to a higher consciousness by feeding yourself with good things. As you do so, you will see things shift for the better. You may lose people and you may drop certain habits that don't benefit you. It is okay. Does a flower grow in a place that can't help it be a flower? No, so why are you in places, having relationships with people or giving permission to agreements that isn't made for the you?

Insecure minds are overwhelmed with being displaced and are susceptible to mental health issues, which show symptoms of self harm. A few of these issues can cause you to people please, be suicidal, anti-social, be double minded, addiction(just to name a few). Go where you will grow and don't be afraid of it. Treat yourself good and others will have to do the same. And if they aren't in alignment with that, don't compromise because they damn sure won't for you.

Until then, stay in healthy wealthy thoughts.

Yours truly,

Grace, The Urban Counselor


Listen to "Damage" by H.E.R and imagine you loving on you.

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